Dear Cameron,

Here I go. I'll say everything I want to say but I can't say to you.

Why the hell do you still live in that house?! All it is drama. You have not had one set of good roommates. Move out. Tell your mom to sell the house. That house will not sell for anything more than $30,000. It's in a shitty neighborhood. You haven't done any research. You say that to make yourself look better and to get me to shut up. I'm not stupid. I have 4 realtors in my family. I know the market. You live near a trailer park and in a run down house that seems to quickly fall apart. It won't sell for crap.

Aaron and Jeff are stupid. I'm sorry the one is threatening your life. I don't care if it's just a threat something needs to b put against him so he can't come near you. Hand them their eviction papers, their underage ticket, and their restraining order. Give them 24 hours to move out and tell them you never want to see them again.

Move out of that house. It won't ever get better. I don't care how good these new guys will be they could turn out exactly like everyone else. I mean look at Adam. He cleaned and everything and now he does shit around the house. He looks alot better than Jeff and Aaron but seriously.

Open your pretty little eyes. Leave now. Hell I'll get an apartment and we can share it. This is ridiculous.

I have so much more but I don't feel like writing it anymore

I love you. That's why I feel all these things. I worry about you. Those guys do drugs and who knows what else. They're fucking stupid and they could take you down with them. Move out! Now! =D

Love your caring girlfriend

Jamie Lynn

I guess I just look at school differently then the people I know. Why would you spend thousands of dollars every year to go into a classroom and sleep it away only to fail the class? You've wasted $500 of your money, and that's attending a community college. I don't understand. Is it so hard to apply yourself? You complain about working all the time, you work 3 days a week for 6-8 hour shifts. I'm so sorry. What will you do when you work 8-5 everyday and most likely when will end up working more hours as you get into the job? You say you want to move out of your house but yet here you are spending what little money you have on stupid shit you want. You don't need anything right now. You don't realize that. Your apartment won't come furnished. You have utilities to pay. Your food... Your gas to get to school to work to home. I don't think you have anything figured out. You don't realize where your life is taking you. You haven't figured out life. You just want to coast through it and make everything come to you.

Today... I'm sorry but I will not be saving you when you don't know what you're doing in your class because you fell asleep. I paid attention, I took notes. I'm not saving your ass. I won't. I did it last year and I won't do it this year. It's so frustrating to me when you sigh so loud that everyone in the entire room can hear you. You yawn 20 times in an hour period. How rude to the professor and to the rest of us who are trying to learn. If you don't want to be in school. Quit. No one will care except you when you're stuck working at a low end job for the rest of your life.

It has just been so frustrating to watch people around me throw their lives away. "Let's have a party this weekend. You should come" Sorry I have responsibilities. I want my homework done. You forget about it half the time then rely on someone to save you. I'm done with it. You won't get that paper written. When you move out you'll quit school and party everyday and throw everything away in booze. You'll turn 21 and be just like him. You'll drink from the second you step in that door to the moment you step out of the door. And even when you leave you'll drink. You're going to be an alcoholic. You'll keep smoking. I know you won't quit. I'm not stupid. You said forever ago that you would and you have yet to prove that to me.

Now dating a 23 year old who has a kid and drinks and does who knows what else... You'll fall right into that. You'll end up pregnant and probably have a baby with something wrong because you'll drink or smoke or do who knows what else.

I guess I never jumped on that bandwagon. Drinking myself to death, not remembering what I did last night. I guess I never got cool. I guess I'll always be that person who stands behind you laughing when you throw up your guts all over the bathroom floor and complain of how awful your head hurts the next morning. It's so funny to watch it all happen. It's worth it sometimes. It's nice to rub it in your face that I remember everything about my night and I didn't have to drink to have the fun. I didn't have to do the drugs to make myself happy.

I know what it's like to be depressed. I know what it's like to just want life to be over. But I pulled myself out of that. I told myself that everything was worth it. Something would come along. It would be worth it. I had to make it worth it. I had to tell myself everyday that today was going to be a good day and that it was only up to me to make it a good or bad day. Your days stink because you tell yourself they stink. If something bad happens you can be mad for a minute but then you shake it off and say that it's all ok. It's not worth the time.

I guess I've just gained immature "friends." I'm done with it. I'm not saving you. I'm not picking you up when you fall. I've done that so many times and I'm through. It's annoying. It's sad.

You're tired... yeah so am I. You hate working... yeah so do I. You hate school... yeah so do I. But you know what it's life. It's started. Welcome to it. It's not easy. It won't be handed to you on a silver platter. It won't be fun most of the time. But it's life. Unfair. But it's worth it.

Stop being 10. You're 20. Grow up!